When asked how I’m able to keep working on art without classes, my usual response to that is ANXIETY and FEAR. All caps. Thoughts such as “if I don’t produce awesomeness by the next critique/review/mentor meeting certain doom or embarrassment will fall upon on me,” constantly run through my head in various forms. Neurotic? Probably, but it fuels my motivation for the majority of my graduate school experience.
This doesn’t mean that the artwork produced will be stellar. This set still lacks something essential, but it was fun and gratifying to make (it didn’t take long to assemble). I got suggestions to draw something contrasting into the silhouettes, but I might just include that idea into future works. I don’t know if it’ll help or further hinder this group. It needs more planning.
In any case, I know I’ll be a basketcase in the next month. I’ll probably become an insomiac just trying to produce a successful body of work. I fear that graduate school is going have the opposite effect on me upon graduation: to become so burned by the experience that I turn away from art making forever. Seriously, it happens to people. You hear statistics that 1 in every 10 art students continue to make art after graduate school and I don’t doubt the numbers. There’s 19 in my current class, if the stats stay true, that only means 1-2 of us will stay on the professional track of becoming full fledged artists. I’ll be sadden if I become the other nine, but school keeps making me place a value judgment on everything I draw and print. It’s hard to enjoy the artwork unless it succeeds. Graduate school likes to constantly tell me that it does not.
Graduate school is always something that is pushed onto undergraduate art students when graduation gets closer. I don’t think the decision should be taken so lightly. First off, it’s a lot of money. Second, you’re putting your ego and self-esteem on line every time you have a critique or review process. There can be thirds, fourths, and fifths but I think they’ll be tailored personally to the individual’s experience and school choice. There’s a lot of good that came out of school, but it’s hard to see it outweigh the bad at times. Overall, I feel I’ve gotten very bitter and cynical about the professional world.
I guess I write this because many art students are probably researching into schools that they might apply for around November-January. I think that along with researching the school, students should try to contact recent MFA graduates and ask if the experience is worth it overall. It might be that after some months passed, they’re able to look upon it pleasantly or realize that despite the grief it made their art better, but it’s worth researching into. It might be too soon for my own evaluation. Sometimes stressful experiences are necessary, character-building and all that BS, but damn it if I don’t have the right to complain about the matter.
Edit: Punchline- Not longer than five minutes after writing this post at a coffee shop, I eavesdrop on a girl boasting to a group of her amazing acrylic paintings of fairies. She was currently being commissioned to paint a version of The Last Supper with fairies. The Universe is laughing at me right now, I can feel it.
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Comments ( 5 )
Emily Jungden Walters added these pithy words on Aug 01 09 at 6:45 pmno, the universe is not laughing at you, it’s just unfortunate that a very large percentage of people lack any level of taste, i.e. fairy paintings of any kind.
Marcy Starz added these pithy words on Aug 01 09 at 10:16 pmHey, we ran into each other on the Printmaking community on LJ a while back and I started subscribing to your blog because I admire your work. Hope you don’t think I’m a creep. :)
I want to say thanks for sharing your experience with graduate school so far. Even as an undergrad I feel anxious about having bad ass work for critiques– I only expect it to be significantly worse in grad school. I’ve left critiques with my ego barely intact a few times. It’s good preparation (I guess? I don’t really know what’s good about panicking and breaking down every few weeks, but whatever) but it sucks all the same. I’m not sure what they rip on you for, but it always seems to be my concepts that get trashed– or lack thereof…
I think “the academy” has caused me to develop a love-hate relationship with art. I mean, what is it, anyway? What makes one thing art and the other not? Is my art any less Art if it doesn’t have a well-formed concept? Is a painting of fairies at the last supper art (you can’t be serious)? Maybe it’s only Art if it’s painfully frustrating and emotionally exhausting, I don’t know. Blah. Sorry, didn’t mean to go on a little rant there…
I guess art sucks for the same reason that it’s awesome: it’s so freaking subjective.
Megan added these pithy words on Aug 01 09 at 10:43 pm@Emily: I suppose that’s true, but I guess it’s all subjective in the end. I guess in a way I was envious at the amount of confidence she had in a really cheesy kind of art.
@Marcy: Nah, you’re not a creep. I think I creeped out a few people at SGC this year. I’ve become an expert at awkward encounters for that reason.
Most of what I get ripped on is a supposed lack of content (because I’m usually scant on details when posed to discuss it) and often because of that lovely dichotomy (in the school’s opinion) of art and illustration. Anything that falls in between can get pretty brutal for someone who doesn’t claim a side (I just looked at your page, so you probably know exactly what I mean).
I do remember you! You go to Kelly McKernan’s school, right? I went ahead and got your art page and blog bookmarked. I don’t know why I didn’t have that before. I never got to see your paintings, they look fantastic. Graduate school has raised a lot of stink for my stuff being too decorative and constantly want it stripped down so that it’s just overly intellectualized bull shit. It’s a hard battle, most of which I feel like giving in temporarily just to get through and then do whatever the hell I want afterwards.
Marcy Starz added these pithy words on Aug 07 09 at 6:41 pmI know exactly what you mean about the illustration vs. fine art thing… Seems at my school some of the students might be more opposed to illustrative styles than even some of the professors, it gets snubbed a lot in critiques. Last fall we had a pretty well known artist come down to give a workshop and critique a hand full of the advanced painting students work. He told at least three of us that our work was very “graphic” and told one girl that she should basically pick a side… Come to think of it I feel like he said something similar to me, too. I think it’s a pretty outdated idea to lump them into two separate categories and hold one at a higher value than the other. I don’t really get it. Maybe it’s the bullshit concept that goes along with the piece that makes it “art” and I’ve always been bad at bullshitting.
Megan added these pithy words on Aug 08 09 at 1:22 amWell, sometimes it’s a matter of knowing the teacher is going to be an old fart about the work no matter how you present it. It seems like once you’re out of the school setting, then options open up a bit and generally it’s not so bad, depending on the career track you take.
